Dad Puns (jokes)

Everyone loves a Dad joke, they’re so bad they’re good… or possibly not. Here goes nothing.

  • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity… it’s impossible to put down.

  • I only know 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know y.

  • I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits… he said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make it on Tuesdays.”

  • I wanted to go on a diet… but I feel like I’m on a roll.

  • Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

  • I used to be a banker… but I lost interest.

  • I’d tell you a joke about construction… but I’m still working on it.

  • I’m reading a book on anti-gravity… it’s impossible to put down.

  • I made a pun about the wind… it blows.

  • I don’t trust stairs… they’re always up to something.

  • I tried to catch some fog… I mist.

  • I once got hit in the head with a can of soda… fortunately, it was a soft drink.

  • I’m terrible at math… but I hear that calculators are a plus.

  • I used to be addicted to soap… but I’m clean now.

  • Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

  • I once got locked in a grocery store… but I found the door to escape.

  • I only know 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know y.

  • I don’t play soccer because… I enjoy kicking back.

  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

  • I’d tell you a joke about pizza… but it’s a little cheesy.