Drinks Puns

Coffee & Tea Puns

  1. I told my coffee it was amazing… now it’s espresso-ing itself.

  2. Why don’t coffee beans ever get in trouble? Because they know how to filter themselves.

  3. I like my coffee like I like my mornings… strong and a little bitter.

  4. What did the coffee say to the sugar? You make life sweet.

  5. I spilled coffee on my keyboard… now it’s a latte mess.

Wine Puns

  1. Wine not? I’m feeling grape today.

  2. I told my friend a wine joke… they said it was corking good.

  3. Grapes never gossip… they keep things bottled up.

  4. I opened a bottle of wine… and it was un-wine-ding.

  5. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.

General Alcohol / Cocktail Puns

  1. I’d tell you a beer joke… but it might go over your head.

  2. Why don’t beers ever argue? Because they like to keep it light.

  3. I told the cocktail a secret… it said, “Don’t worry, I’ll keep it on the rocks.”

  4. Why did the bartender break up with the shaker? It just couldn’t handle the mix.

  5. Juice puns are great… but I can’t concentrate.

  6. Why do bartenders always know everything? Because they’re always on the rocks.

  7. I like my whiskey like I like my humor… neat and strong.

  8. The rum and I had a fight… it stirred up some feelings.

  9. Why did the vodka go to therapy? It had too many spirits inside.

  10. I wanted to make a toast… but the bread felt left out.