Christmas
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I’m on the naughty list… but Santa says I’m just misunderstood.
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What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper.
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Christmas trees like to knit… because they’re so good at purling.
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Why did Santa go to music school? To improve his “wrap” skills.
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I told my Christmas tree a joke… now it’s feeling pine-d up with laughter.
Birthdays
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I wanted to tell a joke about birthday cake… but it’s too layered.
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Age is just a number… in my case, an unlisted one.
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I asked the candles if they were feeling old… they said, “We just feel burned out.”
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Birthdays are like boogers… the more you have, the harder it is to breathe.
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I told my friend they’re one in a melon… because it’s their birthday.
Easter
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Why was the Easter bunny so upset? He was having a bad hare day.
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What kind of music do Easter eggs listen to? Egg-sperimental beats.
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I bought a rabbit costume for Easter… but I couldn’t pull a good hare off.
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Why do eggs hate jokes? They crack up too easily.
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Easter is egg-citing… but don’t put all your eggs in one pun.
Halloween
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Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him.
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I’m friends with all ghosts… because I have a hauntingly good personality.
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Why did the vampire flunk art class? He could only draw blood.
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Witches don’t like to ride brooms on weekends… they prefer to weekend at Bernie’s.
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I told my pumpkin a joke… it was gourd-geous.